American Idol- Wednesday May 21 2008 – Idolgate

Did David Archuletta’s father lose the competition for his son???
Rumour has it Idol producers were secretly hoping Cook would win because David A’s father would be such a living breathing nightmare to deal with down the road.

David A deserved to win after Tuesday night’s performances.
In fact, I went so far as to say that I thought David Cook could from benefit from having someone like David A’s father pick his songs for him.
I know I can’t stand David A’s father…and I ‘ve bashed the guy just as much as anybody else but David C needs some domineering/ overpowering big mouth force to tell he that he can’t pick a song to save his life. I thought David C totally threw away the competition with Collective Soul’s The World I Know….How about A Song We Know??? The crowd sat in that weird limbo do-we-clap-or –not –trance for the first 30 seconds.
David C’s Big Dream sounded like a car commercial and Simon was right, he should have at least closed with Billie Jean or Hello.
David A was firing on all cylinders Tues night…including song selection.
I thought David A would win the competition but David C would win the war.
I think a year from now, David C might be as big as Daughtry and David A will be married to and shooting a Disney reality show with Miley Cyrus.
Did AI fix the results? Nothing would surprise me after it was reported that producers used a teleprompter for Tuesday night’s show..perhaps to the benefit of David A..who already had some lyric disasters earlier on in the competition. Idolgate 2008- is NOTHING sacred anymore?

American Idol Wednesday May 14 2008 Simon Cowell - YOU are predictable.

Syeesha got the boot. Big surprise. Hold your head up high ghurl
By the way, was Fantasia's hair on fire or did I have one too many martinis?
On another note, AI, puhlease drop those cheesy dance numbers with the remaining contestants.
The Ford ads that you're shilling every Wednesday are nauseating enough.
Anyhoo, David Cooke was good Tuesday night but he was hardly head and shoulders above David A and Syeesha. Yes, it's hard to like David A when all you can think about is his stage father ..Jeff. (Nice hometown scene, by the way, with David A and sure enough, big mouth Jeff right behind him) but the kid was just as good as the other two contestants.
Simon was pretty brutal on David A and Syeesha. David C was good but he was hardly flawless. As Randy puts it, he was "pitchy" in a number of areas including that extremely flat warble that he bellowed out at the end of Aerosmith's ' I don't want to miss a thing'
If I were Syeesha, I wouldn't have even bothered turning up to sing the third song on Tuesday..
Its obvious, AI and Simon can't see beyond the dollar signs in their eyes for David C.
On the other hand, don't rule out wacky public voting. You just never know.
Bizzare Tuesday night moment.when the camera cuts to Marilu Henner standing in the audience staring at the ring on her finger. What did someone in the crowd just propose to her??????

American Idol Tuesday May 13th 2008

AI wants you to vote for David Cook

Is it really news that David A’s Danny Bonoduce look a-like dad is meddling?
So why are we only hearing about it now?
David’s dad has apparently been banned from rehearsals because he told David to change up a lyric in last week’s “ Stand By Me” which cost the show oodles of money in royalties…like AI can’t afford it?
Since the beginning, former Star Search judge PTL bible thumper Naomi Judd said David’s dad was a huge problem back when David competed and won the junior category of that show. Stage DAD intimidated other contestants and think about it..what twelve year old you know has vocal paralysis..can you say dad’s making me sing 15 hours a day?
So now it’s suddenly breaking news that Mr. A is a pain that’s need to be restrained?
David A is cute…no doubt. He’s a great singer..no doubt.
But the cookie cutter Disney performance every week is losing it’s fairyland dust when David C cranks out an original tune very week (well, sort of, if you don’t include taking credit for other people’s versions of songs but who’s counting)
Apparently David C’s music was selling well on the internet before it got yanked (probably by the greedy AI what we’re not getting a cut money suckers)
So there is a demand for David C’s music.
AI is seeing Daughtry Part Deux.
No doubt, both Davids will succeed on the charts and Syeesha will be headlining a broadway hit this time next spring but come on, it’s not news David’s dad is a jerk.


The Best Show that You’re Not Watching!!

Damages Finale Monday May 12 2008

No use explaining this because you probably didn’t watch it.
Like Dexter, rent the first season. Too frustrating waiting for each episode every week.
The only thing scarier than Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction is Glenn Close as Patty Hewes in Damages.
Don’t try to understand it. There are a lot of twists and turns that make Lost look like a Gilligan’s Island episode but trust me, it all makes sense in the end and it’s well worth the ride down the rabbit hole.


Survivor Micronesia- Finale- Sunday May 11th 2008
After 16 seasons..Mr. B’s still got it.

Mark Burnett still manages to pull it off.

Survivor Micronesia…Fans against the Favorites….was one of the most ertertaining
seasons ever…and that’s saying a lot after sixteen seasons! Take that “ I Married My Cousin’s Dog” on Fox.

Three people had to leave the game early either due to emotional strain (wack job Big Bird lady ) or because of physical injury (Jonathan who sounds EXACTLY like Alan Alda and Fab Abs Gravedigger James)
It also included one of the dumbest moves in Survivor history.

The final five- 4 plotting women (Cirie, Amanda, Parvati and Natalie and one unsuspecting guy –Eric.) Yes Double Dippy Eric the Ice Cream Scooper didn’t stand a chance against Ghurl Power but he still would have probably won just due to physical strength. However, he was sweet talked him into giving up his immunity necklace and quicker than you can say Jeff Probst wears the same blue shirt all the time- Eric was voted out..

One of the best bitter lines at final tribal council (aka Susan Hawk moment)..
When Liza said to Amanda, “the sound of your voice makes me want to kill myself.”


Johnny Fairplay..last check..uh..still a giant loser. He, unfortunately, has pro-created, however- with a former American Top Model contestant (wow, there’s a story to tell your kids) Even Jeff couldn’t stand him. At the re-union, Johnny asked Jeff to kiss his baby in the front row and Jeff ignored the request. Ouch, dude, when the baby gets dissed..not good.

Cudos to winner Parvati. (still don’t get the name)
Stay tuned this fall for Survivor Gabon (Africa) in HD.
Burnett STILL changing it up.

American Idol Feb 6 2008 The best of the worst and second chances

I was expecting this episode to be a mix of bad left over singers..but it wasn’t.
American Idol producers grew up and left some decent performances in the can.

There was Cardy McCarden. She sang One Night Only fromDreamgirls. She sounded great. The judges said she had a “mature sounding voice”..like that’s a bad thing but she’s going to Hollywood.

There was Plus Size model Joanne from Hoboken who sang Celine Dion’s I love you. It was a bad song but Randy and Paula passed her so guess what..she’s going to Hollywood.

There was Alesha..the girl with the weird voice that Paula and Randy said sounded like Dolly Parton. She didn’t know any Dolly Parton songs on the spot but to her credit, she ran out and learned “Islands in the Stream” She sounded great. She passed.
Simon said, “ Congratulations, you’re going to Dollywood!”
Simon said he hated to admit it but Paula was right.

There was Chikeeze who sang “ All the Woman I need” by Luther Vandross.
It was the second time that he auditioned for the show and he passed with flying colors.
Anyone who dares to do a Luther song, deserves a gold medal!

Finally, there was 17 year old Danny Noreiga..who sang Proud Mary. It was his second shot at the show, as well. He said nerves got to him in a previous season.
He sounded amazing. He’s going to Hollywood.

Can’t wait until next week. Everyone selected is going to Hollywood. This is where it all starts!

American Idol Feb 5th 2008 – Atlanta Georgia

A couple of highlights from last night’s show.
How about JP who auditioned two years ago? His big claim to fame was that he sat two seats away from Carrie Underwood during the Idol auditions back then. He kicks himself everyday for not staying in touch with her. I bet she does too.

There was Asia Apperson who lost her father two weeks ago, in a car accident.
She was singing, Leanne Rhymes “ How do I live without you.” Paula cried and had to leave the table. Asia passed. She was good. I hope she’s telling the truth or that would be serious bad Karma.

There was Brooke, who wanted to prove that pageant girls could sing.
She could. She passed.
Simon said she was, possibly, the most annoying person he’d ever met.

There was 16 year old Alexander Lushington who came with an entourage bigger than Diddy. The group included her adorable 93 year old grandmother. Alexander passed.
Her grandmother didn’t want to cry on camera.

There was 22 year old Amanda. The rock and roll nurse who didn’t wear a motorcycle helmet while on her bike. Stupid.
Amanda had no problem getting a golden ticket after her Janis Joplin-like performance. They called her the female Chris Daughtry.

And finally, there was Josiah Leming. An 18 year old kid living in his car for the past two years. He wasn’t a bad singer. He sang a song that he wrote. It was okay. But he sang with a British accent. He’s from Tennessee. Odd, to say the least. However, Simon loved the British accent..fake or not.. and passed him

American Idol – Tues Jan 29 2008

Slim pickings at the American Idol auditions last night in Omahummm, Nebraska.
Only nineteen folks got golden tickets including the finale performer , Leo Marlowe…bit of a Rob Thomas vibe.
There was also David Cook of Tulsa who rocked out to Living On A Prayer and then there was female arm wrestling champ Rachel Wicker. Hey, I guess that's what they do in Omaha for fun.
Simon has really mellowed this season..maybe it’s the man boob reduction surgery that has him happier than usual..but he gave one performer (Jason) a number of opportunities to restart even though the guy had the memory of a sieve.
Then there was Chris who kicked off the show…terrible audition but Simon did something pretty cool...he gave Chris the opportunity to be the American Idol Fox correspondent in Omaha for the rest of the season.
Paula, by the way, was MIA for most of the auditions..she sort of staggered in half way through with big sunglasses..don’t ask.

American Idol –San Diego Tues Jan 22nd 2008

A little while ago, Simon Cowell said he believed the winner for American Idol this year might be a guy from the San Diego auditions..which aired last night. Well, if you can believe the hype..I think I might know who that competitor is.
There was a 28 year out of LA by the name of Michael Jones. Michael is originally from Australia . He sang an Otis Redding tune “I’ve been loving you too long”
It was VERY good. Simon pegged him as a white soul singer.
If Jones doesn’t win it, I would put money on the fact that his looks, sound and overall X factor coolness will land him in the top ten. Hey, I could be wrong. Okay, I’m not really putting money on it.
A couple other worthwhile performances last night….Single dad Perry from Arizona who brought his cute little son Aviana to the audition. Perry said he lost his wife to a gang related crime. Now it turns out, Perry has a bit of a record too (not the LP kind) and will likely be disqualified from the show.

Other worthwhile performances last night….20 year old Samantha. Her sister got to sit on Simon’s lap during the audition.
There was a kid with a paralyzed vocal chord who belted out a John Mayer tune (really, isn’t that the weirdest excuse you ever heard… a paralyzed vocal chord..it’s so weird..it has to be true )

There was also Carly, from Season Five…a girl who made it through Season Five auditions but was disqualified because her US visa didn’t get sorted out in time.
Carly certainly can sing..and passed with flying colors. The bizarre thing about Carly is her boyfriend…a tattoo artist who is covered from head to foot in tattoos.including his entire face…Dude, how’s that going to look when you’re seventy five years old or when you have to walk your daughter down the aisle one day?

Then of course, there were the FREAKS.

There was Tatianna Venice who was beautiful and boy, she knew it.
Simon knocked her down a couple notches “ I don’t think you’re good as you think you are.” To which she replied, “What’s the problem here?”
She was SO obnoxious.

There was Valerie Rias who, EVERYONE said she sounded like Miriah Carey.
After her blood curdling audition, Simon replied, “ The only resemblance to Miriah Carey you have is if someone left a Miriah Carey CD out in the sun too long and then tried to play it.”

There was the team of Monique and Christopher..who thought, for sure, they were both going to go on to, at least, the top ten. They were awful. Before you can ask, don’t these people know what they sound like? Doesn’t anybody tell them???
The answer to that riddle walked into the room in the shape and sound of Alberto….a fan carrying, long-nailed frizzy haired NUT.
Alberto sang his own song. Simon said Alberto was ‘equivalent to a storm cloud on a sunny day.’
Alberto walked out with his tail between his legs.
But sure enough- there were Alberto’s relatives outside the audition room telling him how GREAT he was. Maybe next year.
I can hardly wait.

Amazing Race –finale – January 20 2008

Ten cities, four continents, 30,000 miles,1 million dollars.
Down to three couples…Nick and his 68 year old grandfather..Don (the oldest competitor
In Amazing Race history)...Hippie Dippie TK and Rachel…and Ronald and Christina..poor Chistina always seeking her mean dad’s approval (picture George Takei).
Alaska was the final location.
The final challenge came down to an Amazing Race mega quiz.
Christina blew it under scary dad’s disapproving glare.
TK and Rachel won.
Second place scary dad summed up his assholeness in one statement regarding his daughter.
“For once in my life..when I say I love you..I really mean it..I’m a new man.”
Heartwarming.

American Idol Season 7 Premiere Tues Jan 15 2008

Season seven. Another year of freaks and geeks.
Auditions in Philly drew the largest crowd ever, apparently. Unfortunately, size doesn’t always matter.

There was Ali from Egypt..who sounded like Borat. I don’t know if it was his English or he was just, plain old, being a pig but he said he loved American women from their heads…all the way down to their nipples??? Hmmm. Paula told him he should continue singing for his own enjoyment. That’s a nice way of putting it.

Then how about Temptress Brown? A 16 year old very heavy set teen that said she was doing Idol to make her sick mom proud. Temptress too, was bad, but she got a group hug when her tears started to flow. Simon seemed to be moved by the fact that she had a lot of animals at home. He assisted Paula and Randy as they escorted Temptress back to her family.

Then there was James..the Philly tour guide who did something bizarre with his voice when he sang. He sounded like..well..a monster.

Accountant Udi sang My Way..to which, Simon asked..do you honestly think you have any chance of wining?

Or how about Alexis Cohen..the scariest woman in Philly who didn’t have such a bad voice..sort of Grace Slick or Janis Joplin but she was a freak in sparkles and vowed to have Simon’s head when she got kicked off.

A lot of craziness but their were two knock out performances in the second half

Angela Martin who didn’t want fame but wanted to get good medical care for her sick daughter. And Christy Lee. A kickboxing horse rider who sold her prize horse back in Oregon so that she could fly to the auditions in Philly. But could she have not just bought a cheaper ticket to the Seattle auditions?

Dance War Bruno vs Carrie Ann Monday January 7 2008

Okay, okay, another cheesy show about dancing....but the a couple of things work for this particular program. First of all, Carrie Ann and Bruno have a really fun chemistry together Although, Bruno needs to stop wearing those really tight pants. He looks like he's got a fruit basket in his pants. Second of all, it makes you realize how difficult it truly is to find people who can dance AND sing.

Of all the contestants they auditioned in NYC, LA and Nashville, it didn’t seem anyone was a good enough singer to make it into the top ten on American Idol and no one was a good enough dancer to make it on the top ten of So You Think You Can Dance. Having said that, the top 14 performers are above average dancers/singers and the show is still very entertaining…freakish at times. At one point, during the LA auditions, there was a chicken, a gorilla and four hula dancers on stage.

Sounds like New Year's Eve at my place.

Unfortunately, the weakest link on the show is Drew Lachey. Nice guy but he’s got nothing to say and he looks nervous most of the time…like HE's surprised that he got the gig.

Celebrity Apprentice – Thursday Jan 3rd 2008

How bad is Gene Simmon’s hair? For a guy who is obviously, very bright….he should have the smarts to do something with his hair. . It’s a bad fro plastered down on both sides of his head.

Also, how bad looking is Steve Baldwin? Those Baldwin brothers sure have the tendency to retain water. How about the fact he was introduced as actor AND author Steve Baldwin...hahaha.

Then there is the Idi Amin of Celebrity Apprentice…Omarosa.
She is freakishly crazy. Yes, she lead Team Empresario to a disastrous defeat but the show will be a disaster without her. The fur hasn’t even BEGUN to fly. Omarosa will eventually being going down and clawing everybody down with her.

So here’s how the show works this time around.
Whatever money the celebrities make, will go to their favorite charity.
However, any acquired proceeds should really go the the Donald Trump -should –not- pro-create fund. That awful mouth is a dominant genetic trait that needs to be discontinued. Both Trump offspring have inherited the mouth AND a seat at the boardroom table. Ironically, they don't use their mouths. Dad does 99% of the talking.
If they only had a brain..

The BEST show on television. -Sunday December 16 2008

The best show on tv right now has to be Dexter. Last night’s finale to the second season was absolutely INCREDIBLE.
Crazy Lila stole Dexter’s GPS…and followed the directions out to a remote cabin..where she found Doakes. Doakes told her that Dexter was the Bay Harbour Butcher..and instead of helping him..she blew the place up with Doakes inside…hoping the move would get her into Dexter’s good books. When that didn’t work, she freaked out
The BIG mistake Lila then made was going after Rita’s kids and trying to kill Dexter and the children.
Now I know this all sounds like gibberish to the average person reading this because most people don’t get the show. It airs on The Movie Network here.
However, that could change. With the writer’s strike dragging on ..sister station, CBS is looking for content and Dexter is looking pretty good right now…IF it can be edited for primetime.
Luckily, there is not a heck of a lot of swearing or explicit sex.. sure…a couple racy scenes between Dex and Rita. But the main challenge is the violence..which does get pretty bloody at times.
However, the dismembered body parts are sometimes laughable..chopped up legs and severed heads that look like something out of a Zeller’s display window on acid.
The first season of Dexter is on DVD. Get it. Watch it. Then ask yourself, after you unhook your nails from the couch. How the hell could this show get better?
It does.

Why is Dexter so great?

• Michael C Hall (formally, David from Six Feet Under) Hall has somehow transformed his looks. Dexter, the serial killer, looks nothing like sweet quirky David the undertaker from Six Feet Under.
• Writing. Whoever is writing this twisted shit is gooood.
• New characters added to the second season. Keith Carradine as Lundy and Jaime Murray as Lila.
• Foresight. When everybody else was winding down because of the writer’s strike…I’m guessing producers of Dexter pulled out all the stops and made sure, they got an entire season in the can before everything shut down.
• Learning from runaways hits like LOST that fizzled out…the producers of Dexter have never taken the show’s success for granted. Except for one of two quick breaks…ie American Thanksgiving, Dexter did not screw around with viewer loyalty. Every Sunday-there was a brand new season ready to go.

Dancing with the Stars – Monday November 26 2007

Okay, is Victoria Beckham THE most sour looking person in the world?
What IS her problem? In all fairness, maybe while the rest of the Spice Girls are having a grand old time, Posh is worrying away about world peace or the war in Iraq or David shagging someone else backstage.
Meanwhile, Mel B and Max performed some pretty scary lifts.a little klutzy at times but still pretty impressive.
Then there was Marie Osmond. What a disaster. What the hell was that creepy doll routine?
Crotchety old British judge called it Baby Jane meets Bride of Chucky..hahaha
Marie fell during her routine but popped up again…as if she hoped no one would notice.
Helio and Julianna are definitely the crowd favorites…but Mel and Max deserve the trophy.

Dancing with the Stars-Tues Nov 20 2007

Looks like we won’t be having the Derrick-Julianna/brother sister final showdown that everyone (okay 20/20) was waiting for.
Marie Osmond survived another week. She wasn’t even in the bottom two.
I love Marie but she is clearly out of her league.
Jennie and Derrick weren’t going to win overall but it would have been nice to see them compete in next week’s final.
.
DWTS follow up results night should take a cue from American Idol and keep it to half an hour. The filler material was painfully obvious. Dance Re-hab school? Come on.
Do Harry Hamlin and his doppleganger wife Lisa Rinna go to the same plastic surgeon?

Other notes from last night. Why is Florence Henderson always in the audience? Is she homeless?
Why was Avril Lavigne performing?
She probably makes fun of the show when she’s not on it.
Michael Flatley, obviously, loves himself.
By the way, unless they’re wearing Lord of the Dance outfits…grown men look really silly stepdancing.

Dancing with the Stars –Nov 19 2007

Nice to see Marie Osmond and her partner Quik Stepping to the Viagra theme.
How bizarre was that? I love Marie Osmond but that performance certainly didn’t deserve a 29 out of 30. Not when you’ve got people like Mel B doing the splits three times and curing cancer during their routine
Jenny Garth and Derrick also chose an awful song to Tango to. I don’t even know what it was but I would have given them poor marks for bad taste. Don’t these people watch American Idol? It’s all about song selection!!! Good lord.
Then there was Helio Castroneves and his nineteen year old partner, Julianna Huff, steaming up the dance floor, as usual.
Mrs. Helio must have her Spidey senses tingling because she not only sat, front row, in the audience last night to eagle-eye Helio but she brought back-up - her two sons.
Helio seemed to sweating a little more than usual.
If the guilt trip doesn’t work- Mr. C better check his brakes before his next race.

The Bachelor Finale–Nov 19 2007

OMG..it REALLY was the most dramatic rose ceremony ever.
First there was Jenni. She got out of the limo, I was shocked because usually, the loser goes first. I really thought she had it in the bag…that is, until she started reading her personal journal to Brad. Too much information. Walk, don’t run.
Poor thing. Now she’s got to go back to that terrible hair salon with the creepy grandmother. You could just here the million dollar lifestyle slipping through her family’s fingertips.
Then there was Deanna. By the way, it all makes sense now why Brad chose power bitch Deanna as one of the finalists. Did you see his mom? Carbon copy. That woman wasted no time roasting and toasting both doe eyed victims.
Deanna handled the bad news better. She sassed him back in her dying gasps. No home cooked Moussaka for you asshole.

Dancing with the Stars – Nov 12th 2007

Why was Jenny Garth crying when Richard Simmons was talking to her?
More importantly, why is Richard Simmons still wearing glittery tank tops?
Did anyone else notice that Helio dropped Julianna on the ground at the end of their second dance (the Quick Step) and that her head actually bounced off the floor?
All seemed to have been forgotten when the couple scored a perfect 30.

The Bachelor – November 12 2007
The Women Tell All

Well it didn’t take very long for the gloves to come off. Hillary said that McCarten smelled like a fish taco. Meow.
Bettina had the gloves off too. She suggested the next bachelor have an education. Smackdown. She probably ran into the waiting arms of her creepy father.
Sarah and Lindsay tried to explain why they couldn’t tell the difference between Brad and Chad…um, could the twelve glasses of champagne, on every show, have anything to do with that?

Iron Chefs America- Monday November 5th 2007

Every now and then, I tune into real reality tv. That’s right, boys and girls. The Food Network’s Iron Chefs America.
The other night, however, I saw something on there that was far more gory and gruesome than anything I’d seen on CSI or Law and Order.
Quite frankly-it was in poor taste-no pun intended.

The Challenger was apparently some high mucky-muck seafood “expert”. He challenged Iron Chef Bobby Flay to a cooking showdown. Fine.
Then the famed secret ingredient was unveiled….live fish in an aquarium. That’s right, some poor creature, unknowingly, swimming it’s last lap.
What’s next week’s secret ingredient going to be…baby seal pup?
As soon as the host gave the signal, Seafood Asshole and Flay were given nets and each had to catch 3 or 4 of the foot long fish and toss them into a pail.
Then Flay and Seafood Cowboy were given CLUBS to beat them to death!
To Flay’s credit, he did not look happy.
Seafood Asshole, on the other hand, was only too happy to show off his “expertise” which involved letting the fish bounce off the counter three or four times before he slowly sliced into it’s side and then, thankfully, cut off it’s head.
I didn’t watch the rest of the episode. I was too horrified. I’m still in counseling.
I’ll need to go see something like Saw 4 to take my mind off of it.

Rating: a very disappointing 1 out of 10 salt shakers.

Dancing with the Stars – Monday November 5th 2007


The person to watch is Marie Osmond. She’s not going to win the competition, by any means, but she sure scores high with the audience.
What monster is going to vote a woman off who has eight kids cheering her on during rehearsals? The other thing that America probably loves is how fearless she is. Sure she dances like she’s drunk at a Christmas party sometimes but who doesn’t??
She puts it out there each and every time and that’s what America applauds.

Okay, what’s with that stupid Quick Step dance? They should get rid of it. It makes even the pros look bad…and can someone please vote Cameron off? Why does every dance have to start or end with some sort of bizarre Superman stag jump?


The Bachelor- Monday November 6th 2007

This is why there are more seasons of The Bachelor than The Bachlorette.

Brad took all three bachlorettes…Toothy Jenny, Bewildered Bettina and Diva Deanna to Cabo San Lucas for a romantic overnight adventure.

Night number one…Jenny. .After spilling her guts and saying that she was falling in love with Brad.…Brad made Jenny feel incredibly special by offering her a room key to a fantasy suite that just the two of them would share for an intimate evening together.

Night number two.. Bettina. After spilling her guts and saying that she was falling in love with Brad. Brad made Bettina feel incredibly special by offering her a room key to a fantasy suite that just the two of them would share for an intimate evening together.

Finally, Deanna….After spilling her guts and saying that she was falling in love with Brad..Brad made Deanna feel incredibly special by offering her a room key to a fantasy suite that the two of them would share for an intimate evening together.

Eventually, it was Bettina who was sent home packing.

Dancing with the Stars BOMBSHELL- Tues Oct 30 2007

Okay, how exactly does the voting work on Dancing with the Stars? Is there some sort of Price Waterhouse/ Taliban/ French figure skating / paper- scissors- rock voting tampering going on that we don’t know about? Because it was clearly obvious from Day 1 who the frontrunner in this competition was going to be. Sabrina. Young, energetic, not fainting.
Prerequisites in a DANCE COMPETITION to, at least, guarantee a spot in the finals.
But somehow America screwed up –yet again.
First Al Gore, then Melinda Doolittle on American Idol, now Sabrina on Dancing with the Stars.

To make last night’s episode even more freakishly ghoulish...just add the likes of Barry Manilow…Chortling away Mandy for the 80,000th time followed by some Copacabana rip-off.
I never liked the guy, but especially after he boycotted the View because he didn’t like Elizabeth Hasselhoff’s political opinions. Hey, I’m no fan of her republican take either but boycotting the View???? Really goingout there on a limb Barry.

Dancing with the Stars- Tues Oct 23 2007

Cuban finally went home..woohoo.
JLo…did she visit Dr. Rhino O plast..not that there is anything wrong with that.
She danced in some pretty high shoes, though.. considering her condition..twins on the way..can you say fertility drugs?. She probably wanted to run backstage and barf.
How about the B celebrity audience?
Heather Mills? Florence Henderson, Tori Spelling..how freakishly weird!
Mills said she danced with a broken pelvis last season..what a martyr ….nothing a little 100 million dollar divorce settlement can’t help repair.

20/20- Friday Oct 20th 2007
John Stossel is a big fat idiot

Okay, he’s not that big and he’s not fat but he’s an idiot just the same.
Normally, I’m in agreement with Stossel and his Gimme a break ‘sticking it to the man’ bits on 20/20 but this week’s segment was waaaayyy off…and damaging too.
Stossel slammed Al Gore’s nobel prize win. He, basically, said that global warming is just a bunch of bad hype.
In fact, there are more polar bears now than ever before, says Stossel with his arrogant smirk and half Hitler/half porno styled moustache.
On a positive note. Here is an interesting POV

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDsIFspVzfI

Dancing with the Stars- Monday Oct 22 2007

What the hell happened? One second Marie Osmond is gliding out of the gates..the next second..she is passed COLD on the floor!! How bizarre is that? Right in the middle of the cranky British guy’s critique. His reaction was the funniest. He looked like he was upset that he had to stop talking…as host Tom Bergeron quickly cut to commercial break.

But how LIVE is this show anyway??? Is it really a LIVE feed..to the second because within two minutes of commercials..Marie was up and chatting backstage.
I felt sorry for her. She was obviously embarrassed. She kept apologizing.
The only person who should have apologized for last night’s performance was Mark Cuban. He’s awful. He really does have two left feet.
Which led to the second most awkward moment of last night’s show.
Bergeron points to Heather Mills sitting in the audience..and says something like, “hey, Heather Mills is even a better dancer that Cuban.and she only has one good leg.”
Eeeek.
As I’m hiding under my couch at home cringing, I can only imagine what the studio audience was feeling. The shock on Florence Henderson’s face (what the hell was she doing there anyway???) sitting beside Mills, during the gaff was priceless.

The Next Great American Band- Friday Oct 19 2007

From the creators of American Idol, comes a brand new show - The Next Great American Band. Yes, a show on tv that is NOT going to be hosted by Ryan Seacrest.
I like TNGAB. It is one of the few new shows this season that is going to make it into the PVR rotation.
After last night’s performances, 12 semi-finalists were selected.
I think the top two finalists will be Franklin Bridge from Philly and The Like of You from LA.
But major shout out to Nashville, which by far had the most consistent and talented performers, including a band called 6 Wire-a group whose audition looked like the opening of the CMT awards.
Johnny Reznik, Sheila E and of course, a crabby judge with a foreign accent –Ian Dickson- provide the yay or nays to move on.
Host Dominic Bowden (from New Zealand Idol..yes, you read right) is lackluster and the show doesn’t spend too much time on him.
The other bizarre element..why were auditions held on a boat in the middle of a lake in Nevada where temperatures were soaring over 120 degrees???
Someone should be fired for that decision. It was uncomfortable for everyone involved.


Survivor China– Thursday Oct 18 2007

Survivor has hit a new low, as far as I’m concerned. Could creator Mark Burnett have been outwitted, outsmarted and outlasted by his own contestants?
Here’s the set-up. Each team gets to pick two members from the other team. They switch.
The weaker team takes the two strongest players of the GAME (Aaron and James) and throws the immunity challenge..anticipating that there will be a merge somewhere down the line…therefore, giving the weaker team (who is pretty pathetic up to this point) more members- if they vote off the two new people- Aaron and James.
Aaron (who by the way, is a dead ringer for Ray Liota’s good looking cousin) gets the boot.
James (picture Michael Clarke Duncan from The Green Mile) is next if he’s team throws the challenge again.
One - if not two - of the game’s strongest players will be gone. If Mr Burnett is the uber createor/ producer that I think he is - he will have another trick in his mosquito net. Ie. The teams don’t merge until the final four. Fei Long goes down in roaring flames because they’ve just thrown away their two best people.


Dancing with the Stars – Tues Oct 16 2007

It’s really all about “who does the audience like?”
Mark Cuban has two left feet but the audience seems to applaud his effort and humble attitude. Not bad for a billionaire. Could you ever, in a million years, see Donald Trump prancing around a dance stage? Probably not.
Cuban once again avoided the weekly bottom two.
Instead, the honor went to Mel B and Floyd Mayweather... both individuals came across as conceited and unrefined.
Mayweather threw his partner around the stage like a sack of potatoes. For a boxer, he surprisingly, has no rhythm or decent footwork.
Meanwhile, Mel should really think about covering over those ugly tattoos when she’s wearing a ballgown!
Mayweather was sent packing and Mel will be next if she doesn’t have a major attitude adjustment. Too bad. She was one of the favorites going into the competition.
By the way, what was that Superman performance by Cameron Mathison and his partner?
Cameron looves himself. What a jackass!

Dancing with the Stars- Tues Oct 9 2007

America got it right.Wayne Newton was sent packing. Danke Schoen.
However, I was really impressed with how Mr. Newton handled his departure.
He said it’s difficult to step out of one’s comfort zone but he really wanted to try. For the 65 year old hoofer, who had spent many years honing a slick Las Vegas act- that says a lot! Bravo Wayne!

As for the rest of the show, is it just me or did Seal look totally out of place?
Bizzare. Like a spaceship dropped him in the middle of a three ring circus.
And how about Billy Ray Cyrus and his daughter, Hanna Montana? She’s one of the biggest selling acts right now. Yikes.
Achy Breaky Part Deux- the terror continues.

Rating: a terrifying 6 out of 10.

Oprah- Jessica Seinfeld Monday 8th 2007

I have to say, I was prepared not to like her. Jerry Seinfeld’s wife pushing a book. Really, I thought - do they need to make any more money? But I was wrong.
Like Jerry’s incredible observational humour, Jessica has done something amazing with an ordinary object that was in front of the rest of us the whole time!
Jessica Seinfeld has put together a cookbook- called Deceptively Delicious.
Here’s the premise..Kids hate eating vegetables. So why not puree the heck out of every vegetable in the house and hide it in their food?
From mac and cheese with butternut squash puree to chocolate cake with beets puree.
The kids LOVED it.
Dr. Oz and Oprah were all over the concept- so you know this book is going to FLY off the shelves.
Good for you Jessica. Check out some of the recipes. Good god, I’m giving out links to recipes on my website. What is happening to me?

http://www2.oprah.com/foodhome/food/jseinfeld/recipes/jseinfeld_recipes_main.jhtml?promocode=HP23


Rating. 10 food processors out of 10.


Dancing with the Stars- Monday Oct 8th 2007

Will somebody PLEASE put Wayne Newton out of his misery, this week?
You know the critique is going to be bad when a judge starts off with something like this, “I really love your enthusiasm!”
Judge code speak for, “ Dude, we really can’t think of anything else to say”

Not limping too far behind in the bad dance department was Mark Cuban..who shockingly was not in the bottom four last week. Nice ENTHUSIASTIC guy but no rhythm whatsoever.

Classy moment (Okay, I’m looking for classy moments in Dances with the Stars, really what’s happening to me?) Seriously, Jane Seymour’s dedication to her mom, who just passed away last week, was very touching.

Rating: 7 quick steps out of 10.

Dancing with the Stars - Monday Oct 1 2007

It's really beyond me how popular this show is. Ratings are up considerably from last season. The thing I don't get is the cheesy karaoke contemporary music that the couples have to dance to.
Do I really need to see the Quick Step or Tango danced to 99 Red Balloons?
Also, someone please vote Wayne Newton and Mark Cuban out of their misery.
Mark has two left feet and Wayne would be better off if his partner pushed him around the stage in a wheelbarrow.
Gossip Gossip Gossip .rumour has it Melanie Brown and her dance partner, Maksim Chmerkovskiy don't get along. They look great together, however. Tight smiles everyone. Shades of Strictly Ballroom. Love it.

Top Three Prediction: Melanie, Helio and 3 year old Cheetah girl.

Rating: 6 out of 10 kicks to the head (poor Jenny Garth -ouch- but that's what you get when you mock your partner's manliness on national tv!)

Dexter- Sept 30 2007

Welcome back Dexter! You know, quite frankly, I was curious to see how this season was going to gain any traction after ending on such an amazing note last season.
How do you top Dexter killing his brother-the Ice Truck Killer?
Here’s how.
Rita’s ex-husband dies in jail.
Divers discover Dexter’s stash -over 30 bodies at the bottom of the ocean.
Dexter loses his knack for killing…and let’s one of biggest, scariest, gang leaders get away from right under his knife.
Debra returns to work but snaps on day two and breaks a guy’s nose.
Welcome back Dex. Hands, legs, and torsos down…By far, the best show on tv.

Grey’s Anatomy -Thursday Sept 27 2007


A bit of a snore fest last night…. Highlighted by a very fake deer jumping up in the back of a truck after Izzie applied the paddles.
I understand that the producers want to lighten the show up a bit.
After all, last year was sooo heavy…but that’s what we like and expect from Grey’s Anatomy. We love to be depressed.

Other than the Bambi incident...nothing else really happened.
Everyone is yelling at the new interns. Especially,Christina. But hey she got left at the altar. She shouldn’t be around sharp instruments.
George is still moping because he failed his exams.
Even delivering a baby didn’t snap him out of it…ho hum..the miracle of life…whatever..
It took Meredith’s half- sister, who two seconds earlier, was as confused as a fart in a cane chair-to pull a profound pep talk out of her butt to cheer George up.
Of course, Meredith, who had been avoiding her half –sister, the whole episode, just managed to teleport herself within earshot to hear sis talk George off the ledge.
Good job Sis. Sniff sniff.

Rating: season opener 61/2 syringes out of ten. Stat

Wednesday Sept 26 2007


Bionic Woman

Too bad she didn’t have bionic powers to make the PVR blast through the episode faster.

Rating: one big bionic thumb down

Dirty, Hairy Money...or whatever the hell it’s called…

I was embarrassed for Donald Trump and Peter Krause (Nate from Six Feet Under)
I was embarrassed for them that they were in such a bad- over- the- top –contrived- campy- night time drama. From the bad actor who plays the drunk son, to the horse in the livingroom, the schoolmaster with the eyepatch, the priest who gets in a fist fight, the transsexual hooker sleeping with one of those idiot Balwin brothers..it’s JUST bad.
With it’s massive cast and Manhattan backdrop…Dirty Hairy Money is going to be an expensive mistake for ABC. At least, bring by Six Degrees.

Rating 5 dirty martinis out of 10

finally, on a serious note....

Oprah -How to talk to your kids about divorce.

Okay, how sad was this episode?
What kind of mother leaves her little girl and little boy behind and never comes back?
It’s been two years already and judging from those kids reaction-it might as well have happened yesterday.

Rating: 10 broken hearts out of 10.

Tues Sept 25 2007

Dancing with the Stars
Okay, how bad was Wayne Newton? He looked like a stuffed sausage prancing around the stage. How ironic is it that Mr. Entertainment..who spent 1000 years cleverly crafting his slick Vegas act could be one of the first people voted off the show..don't get me wrong.he seems very sweet. I'm just disappointed because I picked him to win! My new picks for winners.It will be a championship dance off between race car champ Helio Castrneves and the 7 year old Cheetah girl.

Rating: 6 cha cha chas out of 10.

Monday Sept 24 2007

Chuck
Tagline: Computer Geek by day. Government operative by night.

Was not expecting to like this show. I figured it would be goofy, sophomoric, and bad ABC canned King of Queens/ According to Jim laughter.
Loved it. It’s not a comedy but there are definitely some funny moments.
The speed and editing of this show make every other show on tv look like their standing still.

Rating: 8 self-destructing laptops out of 10.


Dancing with the Stars

Who are these people??? Yes, there are a few recognizable names..ie Jane Seymour, Marie Osmond and Wayne Newton... Wayne Newton, by the way, is more orange than ever.

Rating 5 tangos out of 10


The Bachelor

Probably the best looking bachelor so far... but unfortunately, the guy failed college in Texas.
Even George W Bush passed college in Texas.
Having said that, 34 year old Brad Womack is a self made entrepreneur ( aren’t they all) and says he’s really ready to settle down ( right after, he sleeps with every woman on the show)

Rating 5 roses of 10

Tues Aug 21st... the Night of the Blood baths

First,
Canadian Idol...

How stupid is the voting public???? Matt Rapley and not Dwight D’eon gets voted off.????. Not only has Idol jumped the shark... now people’s legs are getting torn off.

Second,
America’s Got Talent…

Yes, indeed the ventriloquist won..but here’s the real story…

Last night, the Hoff..or shall we call him the Awf sang. It was terrible.
It’s like when a soap opera star decides to sing in the lounge on Y and R or when someone like Robert Goulet would make an appearance on Love Boat…

Here are some of the lyrics..and I’m not kidding

This is the moment
This is the time
When the momentum
And the moment
Are in rhyme
..aaaarrrggghhh

Canadian Idol – Aug 20 2007

How is it that Dwight D’eon is still in this competition?
What a bizarre year. Thank god for PVRs…and of course, The El Paso Canadian Idol re-cap..ha haha… I don’t know what’s funnier…The El Paso recap, the Honey Nut re-cap…or the fact that everytime, the camera pans to the judges..they’re holding those cheap 200 for 99 cents Staples Papermate pens?
Two finalists should be Matt Rapley (sure, he sings like he’s on Prozac but at least he can sing) and Carly Rae. What a shocking skill these two competitors possess- they can really sing. That’s never stopped the public, unfortunately, from voting off the wrong person.

So You Think You Can Dance?- Finale Aug 15/16 2007

What was with that Fox routine?…Sabra and Lacey running around the stage like a baby fox and her mom..bizzare...Even Jerry Springer called in and said it was too weird.
The show got the four finalists right…Lacey, Neil, Danny and Sabra. .I don’t know if they picked the right winner, however. Danny was a much better dancer than Sabra..even though she’s amazing…especially, for someone who has only been dancing for four years.

So You Think You Can Dance makes American Idol look amateurish.
Unlike singers who just wake up with a great voice and have fabulous music handed to them..these kids have to learn every step and be in the best physical shape all the time.
Dancers really don’t get the credit they deserve.
Kudos to the all the performers and instructors this season.
Last night’s ‘best of’ show was truly entertaining.

Okay..now back to being totally superficial….how great did the ads look for The Next American Band???…can’t wait!

Entourage Sunday Aug 12 2007

Some of my favorite lines from the show...

Ari’s wife gets asked to revive her slutty character- Kendall Scott- on the Young and The Restless’ 35th anninversary. Ari tells her she’s not doing the show…she’s too old and won’t shoot well in high definition…the real reason, of course, is that Ari is jealous and possessive and doesn’t want his wife kissing her 19 year old co-star, Julio. Ari turns up on the set of Y &R.

Ari: “ You’re 30 minutes away from getting it on with a 19 year old latin bullfighter and I pass on hot pieces of ass that throw themselves at me all day, everyday..without so much as a ‘cupping of an ass cheek’ “

Ari’s wife “If you can get one of them to f@$# you on national television- you have my blessing. “

meanwhile.....

Turtle invites some girls back to the house for a party. Of course, they turn him down..it’s only when he throws Vincent’s Chase’s name around that they agree to go. On the way to the party, Turtle gets pulled over and nearly busted for having pot in his SUV.
He’s fighting with one particular girl the whole time. Finally, at the party

Girl: “ Be nice Turtle. I’m the only shot you’ve got tonight.”

Turtle: “ Really? I got a shot?”

Girl: “ No, not really.”

Sopranos Finale-June 10 2007- Are you kidding me?

So what the hell WAS that?
Booooooo, hissssss…terrible…just when I thought the show pulled me back in!
Some people loved it. Some people hated it. Personally, I couldn’t stand it. I thought it was a total cop out.
Creator David Chase claimed to have known the ending since he began this incredible series. Too bad, no one was able to convince him otherwise over the years.

Harsh, I know. I’m sorry. I’m wounded. I lash out.
But shows like Entourage and Dexter take waaaay more risk with their story lines.
To me, it looked like an effort for Chase to cover his bases….JUST, in case, the opportunity arises, down the road, to back up the Brinks truck and make a movie.
What kind of movie would it be anyway without Christopher and Bobby?

Okay, so it’s easy to criticize. What would I have done?
First off, instead of bumping off Bobby, I would have bumped off AJ.
He’s annoying anyway but beside that, it would have been great to see how Tony would have reacted to losing someone in his immediate family..give him a real reason to go crawling back to therapy.
Melphi would, for the first time, would be faced with knowing way too much when Tony breaks down in her office and Tony’s rage would trigger the nail biting is-he-dead-or –alive- blood bath finale we were all waiting for.
Sure, everyone’s a writer.

The master copy of this much awaited episode needs to be swimming with the fishes at the bottom of the East River. What a cop out. I’m surprised Bobby Ewing didn’t walk out into the middle of diner – dressed in a towel to tell us all, it was just a dream.
SOOOO much suspense. No really, I could have spent at LEAST another hour watching Meadow parallel park. Maybe, that’s where the movie is going to start?
Meadow parked downhill..wheels pointed out….stay tuned.

SOPRANOS- Sunday June 3 2007

I almost said fuggetaboutit to this whole damn series..but last night won me back.
Tony hired some idiots from Italy to go after Phil. They accidently shot someone who LOOKED like Phil (oops, mobster blooper) Then Phil’s gang came after Tony and his peeps. Everybody mumbles during the Sopranos so I have no idea what they were fighting about but who cares?

Bobby was killed while shopping for a toy train for his kid (.aaaahh..but he was buying a toy for his kid! Shucks, he can’t be THAT bad).

Then Syl got riddled with bullets outside the Bada Bing. Syl was left in critical condition Of course, what gangster hit wouldn’t be complete without Bada Bing topless dancers running into the street screaming?

Tony rushed home to tell Carmella that the family had to split up and hide, temporarily , until things cooled off…yeah, like maybe in 2050.

Whining AJ refused to go. That’s when Tony yanked him off the bed and stuffed him into the closet head first and told him to pack his shit.

Tony took off with the boys to the cottage to hide. As soon as they got there-they ordered food. Of course! Who wouldn’t be hungry with a death warrant hanging over their head? Tony sat on the bed upstairs with a shotgun. Guess we’ll have to wait until next week to see if it’s death by delivery.

LOST Finale-Wednesday May 23 2007

Okay what the hell is going on?
Some shows like The Sopranos, don’t have enough going on…other shows have too much going on but not enough explanation. LOST would certainly fall into that category.

I need help from the geek squad on this one..it is a parallel/alternate universe worm hole thing going on or is it a purgatory/hell thing?

I’m going to go the faith route because the other theory is too Star Trekky for me to hypothesize about-given that I don’t have a degree in quantum physics.

I’m guessing the island is purgatory and earth is hell (in this case LA)
I’m guessing one does not choose when to leave purgatory..if so, the outcome is not pretty and one roams hell forever. ie. The “golden passes”
There are a few ways to leave purgatory and sacrificing your life for the well being of others is one of them- ie Charly. Hence the angelic music and peaceful smile on his face when he died- am I reading into it too much?
I just wish, for once, however, someone would speak in a full sentence- to give us a BIT of a hint.
Ie. (Locke to Jack) “ You can’t leave the island, Jack..this is purgatory, that alleged rescue ship off shore is a one way ticket straight to hell. THAT’s why you can’t go!!!”
Interesting too, that there are 40 castaways. Forty is a big number in the bible for life purposes and transformations (thank you Sunday school)

Apparently, LOST has been signed on for another three seasons..but location is sketchy..so maybe they will use LA now as their main base with “island” flashbacks?
Who friggin knows??? But for a show that temporarily LOST my interest..I’m back. Can’t wait till next season. Hope the possibility of leaving the island doesn’t have Jack and the castaways jumping the shark.